one time my sister was working at home depot and got called down to help handle an outrageously angry man returning a lawnmower and it was our dad
whenever I’m underwater I always touch my hair because there’s no frizz and it’s smooth and flowing and all w h o o s h and that’s why I’m pissed I’m not a fucking mermaid.
if u say “i love you” too often it loses its meaning
There’s two types of anger one is dry and the other wet and basically wet anger is when your eyes water and your voice shakes and I hate that cause I feel weak when I’m crying while angry I like dry anger when your face is like stone and your voice is sharp I guess wet anger shows that you care too much and dry anger means you’re done.
This is the best description ever
Are you my neighbor who works as a professional sad clown and complains about my passive aggressive use of post-it notes in the elevator when people leave bits of meat everywhere? Cause you don’t seem to like me very much and I want to say I don’t like you either - the washing machine dealer was way nicer than you.
so today my ap art history teacher was teaching us about Hapshetsut the only female pharaoh and he was like “have you seen women they can pop out a baby and be like alright let’s go” and then he walked over to this guy and aimed his fist towards his balls and the guy flinched and held his crotch so he was like “men may be stronger but women are tougher” and then he said “so when someone tells you to grow a pair, they mean ovaries”